A day, a day, a day.

Today I awoke again to my alarm. I had my training at PO at 12, which was good. It was a good refresher. I felt kinda crappy in the morning though. I had peanut butter, and it totally upset my stomach so like... I was feeling kinda like junk. But the bus ride was interesting. This guy sat beside me, I really noticed him. I could just sense a sort of connection. I pulled out the book I'm reading a lot of, "Wheels of Light", and he saw it and after I put it away asked me about it, so we had a little talk about the book and energy and the like and it was really nice. Helped me forget about my tummy. Then this kid overheard us, and asked how we know any of it's real, and I was just like "I dunno, I just feel it, man." and then the guy I was talking to before ended up coming to the front, and basically trying to convince us that we're wrong because of some reason. I had a lot of trouble understanding what he was saying, he contradicted himself a few times, so I let him go. Jesse was the other guy, by the way. He kept on talking with the other guy. It was interesting to listen to. The other guy was trying to say all religion was wrong, and all that jazz. He claimed to be a pragmatist. I don't know much about pragmatism, but apparently it's all about being proven totally right and completely logical by someone. I felt a bit offended by the kid, especially when we were walking outside the Bay Centre and he had the nerve to tell me I should wear shoes. I was calm about it at the time, which is good, but yeah; that sucked. Interesting though how even just speaking of the energy that surrounds us as human beings brings us together. Neat stuff. Anyways, then Jesse and I just walked around to his friend's place for awhile, he's a pretty chill guy. Turns out he dropped off a resume at PO, crazy stuff. Then I had my training, it was fine. I'm working a street shift tomorrow, which will be interesting. I don't know how to hook people on the street, so I'll have to ask Ezra about that. 10AM - 5:30PM, so it should be a good time. Hopefully it doesn't get too hot. Then I came home. I started to feel really angry and frustrated, it was kind of pent up from the last couple days, and I was really annoyed with having to get up early tomorrow for a job I haven't even been trained for, but then I decided it was a good time to bike down to the spit. So I did. And I walked it, feeling ever more angry. Then I did a sort of meditation double set. I sat on the loud, windy, chilly, side and just focused on letting out anger, and calming down a bit. Then I just did my best to keep my centre and walk along logs, and my steps grew more intense, then I stopped, and went to the other sunny, calm, pleaceful side, and sat on this log by some really still water, and just focused on bringing in and accepting calm as my new mood, and anger as being passed. And I felt great. Then I had a quick chat with Allison's mom, which was nice. Then I came home and had a bowl of ice-cream. I should get to bed soon. I've got a day of work, then a night of gaming to get through. HELLLLL YESSSSSSS.

Be well, much love!

Cyclist's Rage.

So today was a decent day, overall. I mapped out a 30K route for me to bike this morning/afternoon. So I did. I have a new hate of Otter Point Rd. Like, both ways the hills are such bitches. On the way there, there's these two/three hills that are all quite shortly ater each other, and they are a pain to ride up, and on the way back they were like going down nothing. I was really looking forward to going down those hills quite speedily. Then there was this stretch of like, 150M where this dog ran at the edge of the fence just barking at me. I wanted to rip its barkbox out of it's throat, it was SO annoying. Then a car kind of cut me off down Whiffen Spit which was annoying, but not TOO bad. I've learnt from cycling how much cars really suck. Like, really, really suck. But I saw Brendan on my ride, which was cool. Nice to run into him, for sure. So I got home, and had to rush to get ready to catch the bus to go see Ben. Hanging out with Ben was for sure sweet, we went to Braden's, hung out there for a bit, an had an amazing dinner. I love the Young's house, it's always so nice to be there. Then we got Paul, and went back to Ben's and dipped in the pool for a bit, and then playe video games. It was a blast. So nice to hang out with those guys again, it's been FAR too long. Then I hopped a bus home. Tomorrow I have to be downtown for noon, to get trained for work. Not terribly looking forward to that. I'm feeling really worn out. The heat is really taking its toll on me. I'm also feeling quite lonely. But those will surface and sink, as they always do. Hopefully tomorrow goes well. I'm curious to see who will be training me. Blaaaaaah.

Much love.

Ayyyy yi yiii

This heat is really getting to me. I've learnt it makes me short tempered. As well, it keeps me from biking a lot, because it's just way too fucking hot. Tomorrow I'm going for a ride early. Which means I'll be getting up in like, 7 hours. Oh well, it'll be worth it. I mapped out a 30K ride. It'll be intense. Lots of hills. And not sissy hills. But man, today's been a weird day. It started out with my mom being mega upset about not getting any birthday wishes. She interpreted it in just a really negative way, and she ended up slamming doors and screaming and stuff, and told me it'd be best for me to go, so I went into town. I was feeling really bummed out, and I was going to visit Ben, but I ended up running into Seth. We ended up hanging out for a few hours, getting groceries, and just chillin' about. It was super nice. I always love to see that strapping young man. It was so hot in Victoria, it was bruuuutal. After being with Seth I just barely made the 61, and saw Fraser at the bus stop, and had a super quick chat with him. It was cool to see him, I haven't seen him in ages. Downtown seems to be the place to be for me. I'm running into so many friends lately it's absurdly awesome. I really love it. But my temper is a bit short with the weather and all, so that's a bummer. But I'm down with feeling bummed out, I've been on such a high for awhile. But anyways, I need to finish my laundry, and sleep. Big ride tomorrow! I'm also going to play video games with Ben and Paul and it will be so good. OH yeah, I've read so much of "Wheels of Light", and it's so hard to keep up with the blogging and condensing, but I'm loving the content so much. So awesome, and wonderful.

Much love.

Today was hot. Holy hell.

Soooooo. Today I woke up around 11, and was like "I have no plans. New week. I feel Langford beckoning to me." So I decided to ride to Langford. In like 30 degree weather. GAH. It was nice on the Goose because it was mostly shady and a bit of the cool breeze came off the water, but man. When I got home, I don't think I have ever sweat so much. My body was like a rock hit by a wave from the ocean that makes all the colours really deep, and makes it shine. It was cool. So then I showered, and called Justin at Public Outreach. I'm getting trained Thursday at noon, and work Friday 4:15-9:15, then Saturday 12:00-7:00. After I found that out it was dinner time, and just about time to head off to my Volunteer Orientation for the Symphony Splash on Sunday. I had a short patience with people in there. I mean, I understand people were wanting to clear things up but questions like "So where do I park to get to the Splash?" Uhhh, you park your car somewhere. It's your responsibility. And this one woman was speaking around radios and she mentioned tazers, and it really just annoyed me. I've found tazers to not be a joke to me anymore, and bringing it up just to me made it seem like she wanted to get that really superficial laugh out of everyone, and it really pissed me off. I have a feeling the heat, and a long day played a part, too. So that kind of sucked. I am excited to volunteer though, I had a really good time doing Security last year. If you're off to the Splash between 3-11, you'll probably see me. Sooo yeah, I had the orientation, and then caught the bus home. The ride was decent. Emily was there which was cool, it was nice to talk to her. Now I'm home, and I still need to do my workout, blog about Sophie's World because I've passed like three chapters, and maybe eat a little. I feel a bit famished. Today was a pretty mediocre day, but I can deal with that.

Much love.

What a day.

I feel fan-freaking-tastic!!
Yesterday I rode my bike a total of 72KM, and saw such an amazing combination of nature, that the energy totally flowed into today. I decided to take a lazy day today, I just rode my bike up Sooke and picked up a couple things we need, and came home. Then I went to town and played Manhunt. Victoria was amazing today. I walked through Bastion Square beatboxing, and this one woman asked me if I wanted a free tarot reading, and I was like "Sure; why not." I was a little apprehensive about it, because I've never had a tarot reading before, but it was really awesome. She knew what she was talking about, and it really reflected what I'm going through in life right now. It was just so wonderful to have this person who I've never seen in my life tell me to put my energy into these cards, and tell me about me. She was really sweet. Then I chilled in the grass, waiting for Manhunt to start, and Sarah G stopped by and it was nice to see her. She seems like she's doing really well, which is good to see. Then I saw Joseph, and he's a really cool guy. I like his company. Manhunt just felt like a gathering of family, it was so amazing. Ben was there, and Kate showed up, and so many others. I just ran around and had a great time. Had some good chases, some good psyche outs, and oddly enough, great conversation. Just so much plain old human connection. So amazing. Then the bus ride home was packed, so I read some of my book, and then some friends got on the bus, so I had a good yak home with them. I exercised a bit today, did a little 15 minute workout focusing on my upper body, and I've forgotten what exercise is like. Between biking, and this, I'm hoping I'll be able to get my body the respect it deserves from me. Things are just connecting so well in my life right now. It's so awesome. I created it all, too. I just decided "Fuck it man, I need stuff to do. I'm going to read, and blog about what I read, so I can better work to retain all the information. I want to get in shape, I've been saying it for so long, and now I have the time and means to do it. I just need to do it for myself, and I know I do. No point in stopping." I've been able to push my body and mind as well. I let myself down this evening though, and I will make up for it. I copped out on the plank exercise, I decided to close with it tonight, and I didn't hold it anywhere near as long as I felt I could have, so I robbed myself of bumping the limits. I'll make up for it, though.

Much love.
I write a lot.

Nature.

Wow. Today has been an incredible day to be outside in the nature. The power, and juxtaposition of nature to itself is incredible. I was down on Whiffin Spit with my friend Allison, when all the crazy weather hit. There was a sunset over Broomhill that was a crimson orange that spread both directions until one way, it hit the dark blue clouds of the storm, and there was this gradient orange/blue and it was beautiful. Then in the direction of the clouds were two large rainbows, and thunder, and rain. Then further even was clear sky, and some small clouds towards the States, and full circle back to the sunset. It was so incredible. Everything was shown. I just really realized what nature is, and that nature is truly wholeness, and one. So, so, so astonishing. I feel blessed.

Much love.

Another day, another bike ride, another journey.

My alarm went off again I was kinda confused. "9:30? I don't need to be fuckin' awake." "Oh wait, yeah I do, I'm biking to Langford with Skye." So I did my morning thang, and we biked. It was great to see her, and it was a wonderful ride. We dipped in Matheson Lake a couple times, which was really nice too. So I felt really refreshed after the ride, and felt great. Then I hung around at home for a bit, my mom's off to a BBQ and Luminara, so the place is open to me which is sweet. Dylan asked me if I wanted to head over to his place and watch some Sicko extras so we did. Tony Benn blew my fucking mind. He's totally radical, and it makes perfect sense. He speaks of many truths, and he just links so many events together, it's absurd. Sicko has really made me appreciate life, and question it so much. Just things like how the fuck is everything so determined by what people with money want? Tony said that Christianity, Judaism, what have you is not the top religion, it's Money. The love of Money. It just made so much sense. I'm not excited to start working. I mean, I am in the sense that I'll have solid to do, and that it is helping to create positive change, but I just hate working towards the dollar. It doesn't feel good. That dollar is a complete burden. It brings with it great challenge. My poem, Political Stew says it. "Our vote lies within a bill, not a ballot. Will McDonald's really suffice your hunger for change? Will Coca-Cola quench your parched throat from screaming WHY?!" With the dollars that one receives one has to be careful with where they are put. I need to remember that just because I have money, doesn't mean I have to pour it out and spend it. I need to hold onto it to support what I feel is right. My passions, other's passions. Buy local food, break the chain. It's daunting. That's just a chunk of the care it takes to live in North America without being a total prude. It's fucking crazy shit, man.

Much Love.

Mmm good day.

I woke up to my alarm, and was supposed to be a part of a phone conference for this camp I might be helping out at. I laid back down and fought with myself as to whether I should really do it or not - I tried to tell myself I didn't care. Bad way to start a day. I felt like I did in the last year. So I decided it'd be best that I get in on it, and it turned out that there was a scheduling error, so the conference didn't really happen. So I sat around. I was a total dick to my mom, because I was feeling lame and junky. I had a shower soon after, then went to Elijah's and got my shaver back. He's feeling a lot better, which I'm glad to see. Then I went to my Grandma's and helped her move wood. I love my Grandma so much. She hold the family together, and has so many connections, and so much knowledge, and so many books/trinkets/stuff to share. She gave me the necklace my mom gave to her dad, I believe in this cool little tea box that I told her I liked. I can always be so transparent with her, and not feel bad or have to worry about what words I use for fear of hurting her. That's what makes it hard for me to talk to my mom. I have to be careful not to hurt her. She is strong, and fragile at the same time. I got some books on energy from my Grandma to read, which is awesome. I've got a blog on the one I'm reading currently, it's linked in the left menu bar thing. It was really refreshing and gounding to read, and learn about something I'm interested in. I sat by the water, read. Then the tide was coming up, and the waves were louder and larger, so I felt that I was being told to go elsewhere. So I went to Ed Macgregor and read some more, in the middle of this circle area I have an attachment to. Then I rode my bike home. I rode my bike to the water and stuff. Almost got hit by a guy in a pick-up truck. Ugh. But yeah I came home, and here I am! Good day. I like it when I work through a day like this. So good. Looking like I'm going to ride to Langford with Skye tomorrow morning/afternoon. Should be nice!

Much love, be well.

Productive.

Today has been pretty good, overall. Woke up at 8-ish, had a bit of a disorienting morning. One of those ones where you wake up waaay too early, go back to sleep, then wake up when you're supposed to, and it just feels like the wrong time, or that time isn't time. One of those. Anyways, I got into the shower, then the bus. I've been reading The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, and it's been really beautiful. Simple and eloquent. "And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." That line has really resonated with me. I also finished the Tao Teh Ching a day or so ago. Reading those two books together pounded my spirit, and it's been delightful. I'm re-reading Sophie's World, by Jostein Gaarder and looking to write notes about what I read, so I can better retain all the information. There's a lot in there. I had my interview at Public Outreach downtown, and it was great. Chris interviewed me, and it was quick and painless, and we had really awesome conversation just about our own direction, life, all that jazz. It was really refreshing. Then I bused into Langford to meet with Jen and Randy. We had a good discussion about the Youth Council, and creating deliverables and the like, and working on how to get the Council back on it's feet. That was sweet, as well. I'm still feeling fairly calm, and connected, which is truly nice. I'm missing people/a person lots, so that is weighing down on me, but I will live past it. Tonight I will hopefully play video games with Ben, and then tomorrow I help my Grandma move wood. Should be a good time.

Much love.

First blog, cha-ching!

Life has been pretty intense for me lately. For the last few days, I've been feeling really grounded and connected to everyone - those I know, and those I do not. It's been really peaceful. I thinka lot of it is the fact I've spent a lot of time biking, being on the Galloping Goose, and Whiffen Spit. It's sort of an unspoken obligation that if you're on those trails, you smile, or recognize whoever you pass. It's really beautiful. In this moment I'm missing a lot of people. And a lot of one person. I know it will pass, but it's a bit of a bummer. Tomorrow I'm going to be talking to the manager at Public Outreach over coffee about working, so I'll at least be making some money soon. Hopefully. I'll call this blog quits, because I don't feel I have much more to say. Hopefully I'm feeling more comfortable soon.

Much love.