Touch your inner flame; paint your name in carbon along the tectonic plates.

So I've had a really stellar weekend. Friday was incredible, found out I got the job with Adrenaline, so by the summertime I will be an official Zipline Tour Guide. I am really looking forward to it. A lot of anticipation was put into getting that job, and I'm really relieved to have landed it! My contract starts on the 19th of May, so I've got some time to prep. I've gotta get some practice on an ATV, anddd get my First Aid and CPR-C. Can be done, woo! Saturday was totally awesome. I performed in my first show, and it was wicked fun, such an awesome opportunity. I performed with CR Avery, and some of the amazing Vic Poets up at this beautiful guest house in Cowichan called Affinity. It was pretty amazing to get to perform with CR, because he's totally a point of inspiration for me, and I have lots of respect for him. So that happened, we got back into Victoria at like, 2AM in the morning, then I went off to Iris' birthday party. Pretty much everyone left like, 20 minutes after I got there, but oh well. It was still really nice to see everyone there. Then I had some breakfast with Sarah and Seth, and that was nice. Then it was off to the climbing gym. Belayed for a few interesting kids, and then I climbed for awhile with Mary, and Matt. Then I saw Rico, of all people. That was awesome. So I climbed from like, 3-5ish. Left, had some wonderful food from the James Bay Coffee Co. Kate was working, which was super nice, and we talked of course. Then I saw Tyler and Elle, so I caught up with them. It was hilarious, they got banned from the Thrifty's there, so they left and came back to ask me if I could go buy them perogies. It was hilarious. Then it was back to the gym. I climbed more, saw Yee(Yi?), Fletcher, Cassidy, and that was cool. Fletcher joined Louisa and Ben and I so we all climbed as a group, very fun. Fletcher drove us home, then Ben and I played video games until like, 2AM, crashed, woke up, left, then I floated. Saw my bus driver friend, Tim. He's my favourite, by far. We had a great conversation, he bought me some tea and a pepperoni bread thing, and he let me switch the indicator board thing, which was cool. Then I was in town, went and visited MEgan at Mayfair, and came home. Showered, changed, then I'm back into town to maybe dance! Sounds sweet to me. Anyways, there's my big update. Woo life.

Climbing.

I feel like I should blog about my awesome climbing session today. It was with Kostas and Megan. I went into it feeling pretty alright, hungry, and expecting me to kinda not be totally into it, but it ended up being so damn good. I started off trying this 5.10a, but it was a bit much for me to start on, and I didn't wanna burn out early. So I went around and did 5.8s and 5.9s and they just all felt so good. Then I hit the cave up, and it was awwwwwesome. I've gotta work on the red climb a bit more, but I can totally land it now, and it feels really good to solve a problem. Right now I've got the yellow climb to look forward to figuring out, and I'm about 1/3 of the way through. As well, I tried my nemesis 10a, and I got past the crux that's been killing me for weeks. I couldn't get past the part just after but, but now I have that to look forward to. And that other 10a. Then I did a 5.9 that I think I attempted last time, and I didn't make it, and I totally nailed that one too. Sloppily, but I did it. Definitely a good climb for me to hone in some skills. Wooo, I love climbing. Then next week, Friday/Saturday/Sunday I'll be belaying, and getting mad credits. I am really excited for that. I definitely look forward to it.

I was sent from the ether.

Holy crap, man. It's funny about my last blog post. I think I talked about feeling some huge void. The next day I felt great, and it's been awesome ever since. Band had our first show, and it went quite well. And we've got two more shows lined up, with undetermined dates. In my poetry world, holy crap are things getting real. I've been asked to go to a school next Friday and do a little bit with grade sixes about poetry, I've been asked to do a show that should have a very wonderful outcome, and I've been asked to do poetry in the raw. I tied for second in tonight's Slam, which is my best placing in Victoria, and it's all really amazing. Who'd have thought I'd be doing this all within a year of graduation? Either way, it rocks. Now all I need is a job... still waiting on word from Adrenaline. I'm gonna stop in tomorrow, and see what's up. Hopefully something good is cookin'! Moving out still looms on my mind... I'm throwing my whole family into not really disarray... but definitely a strange state and it's got me a little frustrated. It'd be nice if I could just pack up and leave, but I guess moving out is a big decision for a reason. It'll really be my life, or so I hope. I don't know what is on the other side, but I look forward to it. A lot. I'm feeling really good right now. Slams, and Tongues of Fire always leave me refreshed and feeling re-energized. Just so wonderful. I miss love, a lot. I think in all of my wanting to be with girls, and being all caught up in them, and caught up in my own issues, and just worry and being down and out about everything really took my realization of love away from me. I want it back, and I mean, maybe tomorrow morning will be the morning to start it. Maybe it won't. All I know is the wheel is gonna start turning, and watch out when it does, because shit will go down. The best shit of my life.

Get your focus straight and orchestrate fate.

Thoughts on paper haven't been working very well as of late. My head is just a giant cloud of empty space, yet it's full of stuff at the same time. I just really don't know overall. I'm moving out in 4-6 months. Lots of cleaning to do, and stuff to pass on. Hopefully it all goes well. Why? It's just time. I'm not moving forward anymore, and it's time to move forward and get some change. That's probably the biggest thing in my life lately. Ahhh, I applied at Adrenaline today, and things are looking good, so I am really excited for that. I look forward to potentially being a guide there. Would be quite amazing. Ahhh, yeah. I really don't know. It's strange at how empty my head is. My band has our first show tomorrow, at Mount Doug High, for a charity celebration type event. Going to be quite fun, I definitely look forward to it. Friday is... I don't really know. Hopefully climbing at Stelly's. With Nadia. But who knows. I really hope it works out. Climbing is kind of like... the one thing I really really enjoy. I forget the feeling of being on stage. It's been quite awhile since I have been up there. Missed the last ToF, which mega sucks. But the next one is soon! As well as the slam... I don't even know what I'm going to do for the next slam. I don't even know if I'm going to slam. I think I should, even if it won't go over well. We'll see come Tuesday. I'm just so lost and found lately. Blaaahblaahblaah. I think I need to disappear for a few weeks, or just go someplace nearby and sit there all day. Maybe sleep, or read, or just sit. I haven't sat in a long time. Not the best, I don't think. Maybe I'm just so stressed I can't even tell. I don't know. Either way, things are shifting. Especially if I get the job at Adrenaline. That would definitely be a pick-me-up. We'll see what the next couple weeks have in store for me.

Eyes of blue, sorrow in twos, my life will stand stern as a ship, blowing in the wind.

Woo improv poetry title.

My life as of late is interesting... sort of. I've finally been out and about. Tongues of Fire on Thursday was so good. Jeremy rocked, I like him a lot. He seems to be a really chill awesome guy. I debuted a piece I was a little wishy washy about, but I got a really good response, so that makes me enjoy the piece a lot more. Friday.... I went shopping with my Grandma. I love my Grandma a lot, so spending time with her was great. We hit some box stores, and then second hand stores. I got this chest from my Grandma awhile back, it's not too large, like, you couldn't fit a brick in it, but it's so nice, and I found a smaller one at the first shop we went to, and it has a little music player in it. So it's like a little music box. I figure I'll use it for a gift for someone I hold very close to me. So we shopped, and it was great. Saturday was a let down. I just set up the Christmas Tree, and sat around at home. Sunday wasn't too bad. I went to the Reading Room Cafe, visited Sinead and just hung around. Her Dad, and I'm assuming his love interest showed up, and they came by and they sat at many tables and ended up sitting around with me, in the comfy chairs, and it was so nice. I like Sinead's dad, he seems to be a very peaceful fellow. I like Sinead too, we actually talk which is something I'm loosing in people lately. Wait a second. I ...nevermind. Sunday I tried to go shopping, but it was a failure and a half. By the time I finally got into town, was finished talking to people I love, most of the shops I needed were closed. Which was alright. I could deal with it. Monday, yesterday, was dismal. I woke up to my mom being frustrated and annoyed that the computer was acting up. So I was in turn annoyed because she wouldn't chill out. So we were all up in each other's faces for the morning. Then it was fixed, so the tension settled. Then I wanted to go into town early and shop a little, but it didn't work out, because it was supposed to snow. And I didn't know if I was working tomorrow. So if I went into town and got stuck, I would have had to have packed all my work gear and a tonne of food, because I wouldn't be coming home tomorrow after work, because the slam is happening. So I just didn't go into town. Which bummed me out, I was excited to go. THEN I found out the $150 I was going to get for the Youth Ambassador training I helped with isn't coming until MAYBE before Christmas. I'm off to Vancouver NEXT WEEK. So I may have to pack food, and crazy budget, but I dunno. I'm gonna heckle a lot to get the money. It'll make my trip happen. But tonight was a lot of fun, it was Ben and Dave and Amy's birthday dinner at Earl's. Then we went to Peacock's. I really miss the band a lot. It was a lot of fun though. Fun watching people drink, that's for sure. I can never get bored of that. Then I came home, the bus ride was alright. I was in a fantasy world in my head, and feeling really comfortable there but someone I talk to got on the bus, and I just didn't want to leave the world, but I did. Then another friend got on the bus, and it's always good to see him. Then I saw my friend Eric drive by, and I hopped in his car and we passed by the mutual friend who I was on the bus with, and scared the crap out of him, ahahaha. So awesome. Drove up behind him, hit the horn, and then slammed on the brakes. He jumped a mile. So we were all in the car chatting. Then we dropped the one friend off, and Eric took me home, and we chatted a bit which was super nice. Now I'm chillin'. Hopefully having a band practice tomorrow, and shopping, and then it's the big bad slam! I am getting excited for it, it's gonna be a total blast! Gooooodnight everyone!!
<3 .

I remembered a part of what I wanted to blog about.

Being this sick takes me back to life a couple years ago. All I've been doing is staying up kinda late, not being able to fall asleep until like, 1AM usually, waking up at 11AM, and then sitting in front of the computer all day. That was my life for summers and stuff. After working, and doing shit; I hate it. I don't like being back here. I don't like being so sick.
Part of life, I guess.

Hey child, things are lookin' down, that's okay you don't need to win anyway.

So I haven't blogged in two months. There was just something going in my life I didn't want to broadcast, and I was a bit of a fool about it all, and the saga has completed and things are good. Ahahah, I this is horribly ambiguous, but deal with it. So two months... I got a new job. I garden in Oak Bay. I also do a bit of landscaping here and there. I've really enjoyed it, but the fall clean-up kills me a lot. Raking leaves. Lots of leaves. And clipping back. It just gets SO monotonous. But then it finally got switched up, and I did more landscaping work which was mega refreshing, and I ended up getting the flu. GREAT. There's where I'm at lately. Last Sunday-Friday I was FLOORED. Fever of 102.5/102.7 at times, couldn't eat for three days, no puking luckily, but I almost did, nose running like a fountain, coughing, it was awful. I spent so much time in bed it was absurd. Most of my days would be spent waking up at like, 10, showering until 10:30, sitting downstairs until noon if I was lucky, going back up to bed, sleeping/laying around until like, 3-4, back downstairs for a couple/few hours tops, then back up to bed until the next morning. I've been on the upswing since Saturday, but man does this shit linger. I dunno, I got my aum tattoo done on my wrist awhile ago. A month? 2? Closer to two. I also got my conch pierced, on my right ear. It's been almost a month since that. Ahh, I dunno what else to catch up on. I'm finding myself slowly edging into the Victoria Spoken Word scene and I love it. The people are great, the shows are amazing, and performing is always something I love doing. I'm feeling like poetry is something serious that I can really give myself purpose with, so I need to work with it more, for sure. I need to write everyday, it's a bit of a goal I have. I want to work with forms a bit, and just freewrites. I also need to work on writing about a topic, and sticking to it. Most of poems just float off and I'd like to do a few that stay on track, and tell a solid story. I dunno, it's exciting. I perform at Tongues of Fire, an Open Mic for spoken word, and it has a feature performer, and it's always a good time. It's every second and fourth Thursday of the month, show starts at 7:30, and is $5. Always a good time, as I said! And there's a slam happening on the 15th, I think? I've been told I should go in, so I figure I may as well! I'm just excited at where this can go... it's fun, and interesting, and constantly inspiring. That seems like it's the biggest thing in my life... I have so much to learn in that area, Spoken Word. So many people to meet, so much. It looks like I'll get a chance to really blossom. I've been second guessing my exchange a lot lately. I'm just not sure, it's so much money. $2,500 for the program alone (Which includes airfair, food, and a place to stay), but then there's shots, and clothes, and luggage, and extra shit I'll buy while I'm out, and all these little things which will easily tack on another $1,000, and that's all money I could use to just up and go somewhere. Or move out and breathe easy for a bit. I dunno. We'll see. I have friends going up to the Yukon in March, and I'd like to tag along with them for like a week or something, if I can get it off work, and then spending another week in Squamish on my way down to climb with Jaslyn. Then in the summer, I want to bike the gulf islands. Just fill up my backpack, hop on my bike, and see where it takes me. Again, providing I can get the time off work. That'll probably be two weeks. And yeah man. My trip to Vancouver is looking goooood. I'll arrive in Van at sometime. Then meet up with someone. Then it's Cafe Deux Soleil in the evening, for their open mic. I'm already stoked. Then I've got a blank slate day, then another day! So we'll see what happens. I'm excited! Then it's Christmas at home. Then there's Iris' open mic! And after that it's NEW YEARS. Hopefully something is happening at Braden's. Then it's Malcolm's party. The band is playing at both Iris's and Malcolm's, so hopefully that all goes well. Anyways, I'm damn tired. You can also blame a lovely girl named Emily for getting me back into blogging. I've been seeing her blog, and I love it a lot. It makes up a little bit for not seeing her as much as I used to. Be well, everyone.
<3